Burnout Season
Burn-Out Doesn’t Have a Season
I was recently talking with a friend about the stresses they were dealing with at work and at home. It had been going on for some time and they exclaimed, “I don’t want to be feeling this way in May! It’s springtime! When is Burnout Season?” And joked, “I’ll wait to be Burned-Out until then.”
It is common to feel tired with work. Of course we would all rather be on vacation than at work. Burnout is not the feeling of wanting a break. Burnout is when we feel emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted due to high stress over an extended period. We enter that state when we feel unable to meet the constant demands of that high stress. We are likely to feel overwhelmed as well as physically & emotionally drained.
*A quick note to those that need to hear it. Burnout is very real. It is not just a figment of imagination. It is a real experience that takes a mighty toll on those who are feeling it. *
There are stages of burnout, including Pre-Burnout. Burnout can be treated, but it is far easier to prevent burnout. Since Burnout does not have a season, we should aim to remain vigilant and seek to do things to prevent burnout. Today I would like to share one long-term strategy for preventing burnout. This strategy can be applied into your life individually as well as those of you responsible for multiple people (i.e. coaches, managers, supervisors, parents).
The long-term strategy I would like to share with you today is Trust. The reason I say this is a long-term strategy is because we know that trust is not built in a day; though it can be crushed in a moment. At an organizational level, trust is a mechanism that permeates the lives of its members. On an individual level, there are key individuals in each of our lives with whom having trust is paramount. The purpose of this article is to recognize the impact trust has on our ability to prevent and avoid burnout.
As I share the ways building trust can help us prevent burnout, I share this graphic as a reminder again of the “equation” of burnout. (Credit: Lindsay Braman, MACP, LMHCA)
In this context, building trust between individuals or within an organization could be considered a way to increase “support resources.” So how does it do that? Building trust can improve your own skills & competencies as well as lighten your workload. Often times it is a lack of trust with others that causes us to overwork ourselves, thinking, “I can only rely on myself, so I am the only one that can do this.” Imagine if you could lighten your workload and the impact that would have on your ability to prevent burnout.
A second way that Building Trust can prevent workout is by increasing our comfort in speaking our mind and learning how to properly share our opinions. Just because trust is absent from a relationship does not mean that we stop having an opinion. In fact, you could argue the opposite! But when we are missing the element of trust, we become hesitant to share our opinion, which can cause increased stress. Additionally, when without trust we avoid seeking the opinion of those people, instead choosing to become mind-readers and “assuming” to know what the other party thinks. Both situations lead to what is termed “walking on eggshells.” This is a sure-fire way to increase the stress in your life.
When I talk with people about building trust one of the first comments back is, “Well, it takes two to tango. It does not matter if I am trying to build trust with someone if they are not open to it too.” And that might be true. But my response is always the same: You will be surprised how receptive a person can be. Some say it is our natural disposition to be mistrusting, but I disagree. I believe that human beings yearn to feel trust. Not only that, but we have great receptors for when someone is trying to build trust. Sure, we can be hesitant, but a small step forward is still going in the right direction.
I’d like to share two ways you can build trust with someone.
First is to listen to their concerns. I am not just talking about their immediate, problem-focused, concerns. I am talking about their fears for their family, their job, their lifestyle, etc. And listen with open ears and closed mouths. It will often surprise you what that person is going through. This is a great way to build empathy for another. Next comes when you try to help them. Notice I did not say lecture them, talk them into something, or solve the problem. I said help. This could be an unnoticed urging to a shared friend or co-worker to take it easy on them. It could be going out of your way to complete your part of the project a little sooner than you normally would. This extra effort is done on their behalf. And that is how trust can be built.
The second way I want to share with you is to protect them. This idea often comes up when we’re talking in the workplace. Specifically, a way for a manager to build trust with their employees. Protect them from hard conditions, bad experiences, etc. But the more I deal with interpersonal conflicts I see this strategy very applicable between individuals. And even in the workplace, I think it can go the other direction, From EmployeeEmployer. How could you protect your boss? What sort of protection can you offer? How can you protect your coach? Of course, there would be the obvious: Do your job so they can keep theirs. However, I think some of the best protection you can offer is building support with your teammates. Show confidence in them by the way you talk about them to other people.
When I was younger there was kid in my town who I was not close with. In fact, I did not like him at all. And I was under the impression neither did he. Then one day he did something kind of surprising. He shot me a text at 1:30 am saying, “Hey Jon, just wanted to give you a heads up, your garage door is open.” Now, why he was driving past at 1:30 am I have no idea. We never talked about it. But there was no precedence for that text to be sent. No guarantee that something bad would have happened, but he “protected” me. Trust built.
There are other ways that building trust prevents burnout as are there an innumerable ways to build trust. What matters is that you actively work to build trust and that you are deliberate in your attempts to do so. Let it unlock the magic for you in your life!
Jon Osborn, Mental Performance Coach, RJ Performance Group
