Your response matters…
I just finished reading the book “Above the Line” by Wayne Coffey and Urban Meyer. This book is a powerful combo of 2 things that I love. Coaching football and coaching mental toughness. In the book, they talk about the equation E + R = O. Or an Event added to your Response determines the Outcome of any event.
Let’s break down these portions of the equation very briefly here.
E is the event. The event can be anything. The event can be as simple as the weather, the traffic, an email, a layoff, a loved one’s behavior, a feeling inside of you, a co-workers comment, or the way a coach handles your situation. An event is anything and everything that is out of your control. You can’t fix it, you can’t manipulate it, and you certainly can’t control it. An event is basically a circumstance that you more than likely wouldn’t have chosen. More than likely, an Event is something that you will have strong feelings about emotionally. These events can be simple, but usually they are VERY important to you.
R is the fun part of the equation in my opinion because it’s the part of the equation where you get to make choices. Minute by minute, hour by hour, we get to decide how we respond to events. This is your choice point. One of my favorite Podcasters, Justin Su’a, always talks about the GAP between stimulus (event) and response, and that there is always a moment there where you get to decide how you will react. This is really empowering if you think about it. Regardless of your life events, regardless of the fact that these events can lead to a hard and long process to follow, you are the captain of your ship! You are in the driver’s seat. You have the freedom to choose! The great one’s that I work with find this choice a little bit easier than others because they are willing to take responsibility for their actions. Be 100% willing to take responsibility for your actions, and usually good actions follow.
O stands for outcome. And here is some real talk for you. There are no guarantees. I hear athletes say all the time, “Well, I’d be willing to do A if B happens.” Or “I’ll take responsibility for my work ethic, but how do I know that my coach will care that I have changed?”. I am here to give you a guarantee, and that is, there is no guarantee. I guarantee you that you will feel better about yourself if you work harder, I cannot guarantee your coach, your boss, your spouse, or anyone will care. You are not in control of your outcome. Let it go!
Today I want you to think about what you are thinking. What do you typically think when an event happens? What do you feel in response to those feelings? What do you do in reaction to those thoughts? After thinking about those thoughts, I want you to ask yourself this question. What’s important now? What can you do right here and right now to make things better? And then go out and execute it.
In the wild, they capture monkey’s in a fairly simple manner. They hollow out a box that is loaded with bananas, fruits, and nuts that a monkey loves. They place a small hole in this box, just large enough for a monkey to fit his hand through. When the monkey grabs the fruits and nuts and berries in the box, he cannot get his hand out. As the assailants arrive, the monkey refuses to let go of the bananas, berries, and nuts that he has in his hand. Because of this, he cannot escape! Your bananas, fruits, and nuts are the items you are trying to control that you can’t control. Let go! There are great outcomes ahead if you let go. Don’t get caught in the trap of control. Get caught up in your responses. Get creative, and most importantly, get up, dust yourself off, and move forward!
Riley Jensen is currently the Lead Mental Peformance Coach for Real Salt Lake, a mental performance coach for Utah State University Athletics, a mental performance coach for Weber State University Athletics, for various professional Ski Teams, and for the Utah Jazz Ticket Sales organization. He is available for corporate, team, and individual sessions. You can find more information about Riley at www.rileyjensenconsulting.com. You can find him on Twitter: @rileyjensen, Instagram:@rjperformancegroup, and Facebook: RJ Performance Group. You can also listen to his podcast here: Riley Jensen, Mindset Matters Podcast
